Facebook jokes

Facebook Jokes

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up …….. after I finish laughing :)

Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.

How to sleep faster: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom.

Dear parents, we know money doesn’t grow on trees, that’s why we are asking you for it.

I did in the bed. I did it on the couch. I did it in the car. Texting is such an obsession. :)

Whatever you do always give 100% ….. Unless you are donating blood :)

FACT: Kissing burns 5.4 calories a minute…… Ummm, wanna work out?

I have a date tonight, with my bed. We are totally gonna sleep together

Congratulations … You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.

Laughing is the best medicine but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine.

Question of the Day: When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.

My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.

Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?

Facebook is the second most popular word that starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘K’ :)

I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.

I don’t understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle.

My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.

I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.