Funny statuses

                       

It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lol

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)

I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)

Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.

Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31.

GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.

Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) :)

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.